All was dark. Christine lay prostrate on the bed, trying to
put things into perspective. Minutes turned into hours, and the night flew by.
Soft, soothing light fell on her face and she looked up. Golden rays stole
their way through the blinds, trespassing the ruling, dominant darkness. They
lit up the room, making visible, the tiniest details of the path traversed. And
in a moment of clarity, the truth hit her. The meaninglessness of her pathetic
life; it hurt!
She remembered the sweet, sweet
memories that she begged to keep. That day when she led her team to a grand
victory in the inter-school Basketball tournament, she became a star in her own
little world. She was a favorite everywhere; sought out by teachers at school, girls
who would die to be a part of her college gang, guys who would give away
everything for a date with her. She enjoyed all the attention, yet she never
indulged in anything except hanging out with her gang and her handsome, hot,
oh-so-perfect boyfriend. She was content with all she had. Until now, when
there was light…
Gravely, Dr. Trevelyan said, “As
pathetic as it is, the truth is that it is the one thing that has kept her
alive for so long. Landing here with a possibility of cure is better than
ending with a brief, sad suicide story covered in petty Mumbai dailies.” Mrs.
Alfonso shivered at the thought. Her despair knew no bounds. She knew she was
to blame. She and her oh-so-fucking-rich-yet-a-workaholic husband who could
afford to pay for the best doctor in the country and yet, did not have the time
to visit his loved ones. ‘Oh he loves nothing except his work and his stinking
richness,’ Mrs. Alfonso silently mused. But how could she have been so blind, so ignorant? Her daughter had lingered in
the dark for too long, lost in her imaginary world. Dr. Trevelyan said it began
while she was still at school; when she did not make it to the Basketball team,
it seems. Mrs. Alfonso instantly regretted every single
Parent-Teacher-Association meeting, Annual day function, Year-end evaluation sessions
she’d missed! Now that she made inquiries, it became established that none of
Christine’s best friends ever existed, teachers hardly remembered her, and she
maintained a very low profile at school.
Things seem to have taken a turn
for the worse when Christine left home for college. Her ever-so-friendly gang
that she worshipped was only a figment of her wild imagination. At once, Mrs.
Alfonso knew that she should’ve visited Christine, at least once, made sure
that she lived with real people and not a group of spoiled brats that never
existed. Oh, she was so pissed at her little gang right now! They are fortunate
to be non-existent to bear the brunt of her anger and grief. Mrs. Alfonso did
not have any idea about Christine’s ‘love affair’ and while she was glad that
it wasn’t real, she would have given anything at the moment, for it not to be
imaginary.
“Admiration, friendship and love are
all she has ever cared about; things everyone, except her imagination, failed
to provide her with. She needs intimacy, Mrs. Alfonso. That’s what she’s been
craving for all her life.” She knew he was right. She couldn’t begin to grasp
the extent of loneliness that led Christine into the darkest pits of her
imagination.
... “No! This can’t be true!”
Christine tried to shield herself from the stinging, hurtful brightness; trying
to lose herself back to the abysmal dark. She had lived in the dark for too
long, to be able to accept the harsh, blinding light now. Her friends, her love,
might be all Dr. Trevelyan has to say about them, but “They’re all I’ve ever
had.” “You never had any of it, Christine!” her subconscious scolds, waking
from a decade-long dormancy.
When Christine is about to end
the pain forever, Mrs. Alfonso enters and hugs her daughter, something she
should’ve done more often. For the first time in her life, Christine really had more
than her pillow to keep company while she shed her tears.
